


Ghosting

by mightycnidarians



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Friendship/Love, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn, angsty boys, eventual smuttttt, non binary pidge, slight canon divergence regarding backstories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-07-13 05:46:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16011527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mightycnidarians/pseuds/mightycnidarians
Summary: Lance is better at making jokes than talking about his feelings. Keith is better at flirting that he realizes.





	1. Dropping a line

**Author's Note:**

> i havent written a fanfic in like five years lol  
> idk what im doing do i ever haha
> 
> I'm taking some liberties with the boys' backgrounds also there is no like place in the canon timeline that this takes place. here is some self indulgent crap

                Lance was laying on his back on the floor, arms spread at his sides. Amongst the many rooms of the Castle of Lions was something of an observation deck. The room was large and circular with a dome shaped glass ceiling that looked out at the black expanse of space. On the nights when Lance found he couldn’t sleep or needed to think, he found himself wandering to this room and staring into unfamiliar and close stars. He found it simultaneously mesmerizing and unsettling. He didn’t think it was necessarily good for him, but it’s what he always found himself doing.

                Earlier that day, Coran had discovered a box on the ship filled with pouches of blue powder. Apparently, these pouches had something to do with an Altaen holiday called “Grisblem”. It was a holiday of cheer. One that involved singing and eating and throwing a blue colored dust in each other’s faces while shouting “Gribop!” He promptly declared that he would share this bit of Altaen culture with the paladins. On almost any other occasion it was the kind of distracting nonsense that Lance would be on board for. But not tonight. Tonight, he didn’t want any alien food. Or any unfamiliar traditions. Or misplaced joy.

                Quite frankly, he was in the mood to be upset.

                So, the blue paladin found himself on the floor, staring into space searching for a reason to be upset and finding plenty. One of the things Lance found that he excelled at was spiraling. _Do the others even like me? I bet they don’t. Why would they? I don’t know how to do anything. I bet they hate me and soon we’re going to get in a huge fight and we won’t be able to form Voltron. Then I’ll never be able to get home. Oh my god I going to be stuck in space forever with a bunch of people who hate me. Forget getting home! I’m going to doom the universe because I’m so insufferable that I--_

                “Lance?” Lance lifted his head as the door opened. “Not going to join the others?” For a moment, the frustration that Lance was cultivating bubbled to a peak. It wasn’t surprising to see Keith. Keith and parties didn’t mix well. He would usually be at Shiro’s hip the whole time or skip out at the beginning. Looks like this time he chose the latter.

                Then the frustration died down. He didn’t have the energy to argue with Keith. The blue paladin sighed in response, sat up, and gave a weak smile, “Nah, not tonight. I, uh… I just wanted some quiet time.” _Let me brood in peace Mr. I-Adapt-To-Space-Perfectly._

                Keith raised an eyebrow. He took a step farther into the room, “On the floor?”

                Lance fell back and stared up, silent for a moment. He didn’t want to give an answer. He wanted Keith to go away so he could sulk. Keith, apparently, didn’t pick up on this because Lance heard footsteps drawing closer.

                Instead of arguing, Lance simply thought out loud, “This room might just be my favorite room in the castle,” Lance said. Keith looked around the room. It was sparse as far as furniture was concerned. A few couches lined the walls. It felt more like a glorified corridor with huge windows than a room meant for anyone to spend a substantial amount of time occupying. He then followed Lance’s gaze out the window to the stars outside. Lance continued, “I used to do a lot of star gazing back at home.”

                Keith sort of hummed in response. As if to say, ‘That Makes Sense,’

                “I would look up and be like, that’s where I want to be. I’m gonna be up there some day. I even knew a lot of the constellations.” Lance chuckled, “I thought, ‘I’m gonna be a great pilot! I’m going to feel so free up there!’” Lance paused, “Now I’m here and I can’t help but wish I was back home. Stupid, right?” Keith looked down at Lance, surprised. “Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped.” Lance only realized how quiet he had started speaking or how still the air in the room had become after a beat. He closed his eyes and wished Keith away. He wished away the room and the castle. The paladins and Voltron.

                Keith looked to the ground instead of Lance, “You don’t mean that, do you?” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I know it’s tough but what we’ve been doing--what you’ve been doing, but Lance, it’s—”

                “No. No, I know. That’s not--That’s not what I meant. I just meant that… I just meant that right now I’m just kinda bummed. Homesick. That’s all.”

                Keith plopped down next to Lance and they sat in silence for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. Lance was sort of like morale personified. Lance was overconfident and willing to try anything. He would talk up any situation so that the others would feel ready for anything even if they weren’t. He was a powerful force of easygoing-ness that was much needed when each day was filled with so much uncertainty. When Lance was feeling stripped of his fire, the castle felt lacking. Keith had seen him homesick, but never this low. Then again, Keith was pretty absent in their moments of downtime.

                 Keith wasn’t a pillar of comfort, but he didn’t feel it appropriate to leave Lance in this state. He debated running to get Hunk but something told him to stay.

                “Did you know that my dad was from the Texas?”

                At this, Lance sat up and looked over at Keith, confused, both at Keith’s sudden change of subject and what the shorter of the two just said. “What?”

                “My dad. He was from Texas.”

                “I thought your dad was Asian.” Lance sort of chuckled.

                “Yeah. His parents are from Korea, but he grew up in this small town pretty close to the border of Louisiana. So, he had an accent. And, you know, he raised me on his own.” Keith cringed inwardly, “And when I started school I… _also_ had an accent.”

                Lance scoffed. “You? You with a southern accent?” He was beginning to understand what Keith was trying to do. He was trying to cheer him up.

                Keith chuckled inwardly, “Yeah. It was…. Embarrassing. I worked so hard to get rid of it when I started middle school. I hardly ever spoke. I just. I didn’t want anyone to know!” Keith was doing his best not to make eye contact with Lance. He almost grinned and his ears were tinged pink.

                “That’s not so bad. And it’s not even your fault. I had to get a tutor for Spanish in high school.” Lance almost bragged. He wanted Keith to feel like his efforts were heard. That he didn’t just share some stupid secret from his childhood for nothing. Keith was being nice, so Lance may as well indulge him. No matter how crummy he may be feeling. Not to mention that it was working. He wasn’t spiraling anymore.

                Keith stared at the blue paladin, “Lance. Your mother is Cuban! I thought it was your first language!”

                Lance couldn’t help the self-deprecating chuckle that fell from his lips, “Nah. I was just a dumb kid who didn’t listen to his mom,” Keith looked unconvinced, “I mean, I knew some stuff! Like, I wasn’t helpless! You couldn't live in my house and not speak some Spanish. I just found myself into an upper level class and not knowing upper level Spanish.”

                Keith was less than impressed, “Why did you get a tutor instead of just asking for help from your mom?”

                Lance grinned and waggled his eyebrows, “The tutor was cute.”

                Keith rolled his eyes, “Of course she was.”

                Lance looked at Keith a little embarrassed, “Well, no. _He_ was cute. Black hair, blue eyes, square jaw.” Lance closed his eyes and smiled as he recalled the memory, “And he was tall. Way taller than me. Then again, back then I was still kind of a shrimp. Oh, and he had pierced ears which was _very_ cool.”

                Keith sort of stared at Lance. He swallowed thickly as Lance talked. Lance looked back at Keith to see wide eyes and pursed lips.

                “Why are you looking at me like that? Don’t tell me you’re gonna get weird on me because I had a thing for a dude,” Lance’s eyebrows lowered.

                Quickly, Keith shook his head, realizing how stiff he had become. He cleared his throat, “No, sorry. No. I just. I just didn’t know. You seemed pretty set. With. Uh. Girls.” Keith’s speech was stilted. Unnatural. Nervous. Shocked.

                Lance picked up on that. He stood, “Uh. Yeah… No, also dudes. I mean, if given a choice, I feel like I would probably pick girls, but, yeah, there have been a few occasions where I’ve been interested in guys. I guess I just don’t want to limit myself,” Lance felt himself rambling. He didn’t want to look to see Keith’s expression. Lance felt icy disappointment creep back into his chest. Just when things were starting to feel a bit more natural between the two of them he had to go and run his mouth about something stupid to ruin it. Now Keith is probably not going to talk to him ever again and they’re not going to be able to form Voltron and the universe will fall apart and it’s all because of fucking _Joaquin Sotello from 10 th grade. Keith doesn’t need to know about your boyfriends, Lance! Jesus! You two are barely friends you’re going to freak him out by oversharing and then the universe is going to fall into the hands of the Galra! The universe is going to fall into the hands of the Galra and it’s all going to be Joaquin Sotello’s fault!_

                Keith couldn’t help but laugh, “Dude.”

                Lance stopped. Stopped talking, stopped thinking, stopped breathing. He looked at Keith who was laughing. A beautiful, genuine smile on his face.

                “Just shut up for a minute Jesus Christ. You’re bi, okay, whatever. I don’t need your whole thesis statement on how you came to the conclusion.”

                For a moment their eyes met, and Lance sputtered out a laugh. Of course. Keith was just another guy, after all. The stakes weren’t so high. They were all just people after all. Lance scolded himself internally for putting so much pressure on himself.

                “Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I, uh.” Lance took a moment to laugh to himself, “Yeah so he was super cool, and I ended up getting a D. Oh, and I got a B+ in the class,” Lance winked at Keith.

                “That’s too much information, Lance.” Keith’s overly stern expression hid a hint of laughter under it.

                Lance dug for the laughter, “Oh, hardly! Too much information would be that if I told you he was better at Mario Kart than giving blowjobs and he wasn’t great at Mario Kart.”  

                 “That’s it, I’m going to bed.” Keith stood and raised his hands in mock defeat. “ _Buenas noches, idiota.”_

                Lance giggled to himself and watched Keith head towards the door. In the thickest fake southern accent he could muster, he called out, “Same to you, pardner!”

                Keith flipped him off as he left.

                Lance let himself lay down again and he stared up, smiling softly to himself. Keith was nice when he wanted to me. He had such a warm smile. Comforting. When he really thought about it, when they weren’t arguing, Keith was pretty easy to be around. _Maybe if I play my cards right I’ll can keep this rolling. Keith and I will be friends and we could hang out and maybe I won’t feel so left out of everything. And I'm was going to be stuck in space with someone, the options could be a lot worse. Keith’s got a temper, but he could be nice and not bad looking either. His hair is terrible, but when he smiled he was easy on the eyes. If only his ears were pierced, then he’d really be--_

                Lance’s eyes widened. Oh. _Oh._ He scrunched up his face and rubbed his palms on his face. _Fuck, Lance._


	2. Drawing Excuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol u thought i was dead  
> u were almost right 
> 
> im giving this fic another chance maybe itll actually go somewhere

 

The next morning carried on like any other, save for the dark blue power that lingered in the nooks and crannies of any room that met the previous evening’s festivities.

Keith woke early and stepped into the dinning hall to see Shiro wiping down a counter top. Shiro looked up and waved, a warm, tired smile on his face.

“Wild night?” Keith offered.

Shiro chucked to himself, “It was like April Fools Day meets Holi. It was good you got out of there when you did. Pidge teamed up with Coran. I’m going to have powder in my hair for weeks…”

Keith looked and saw the slight blue dusting around Shiro’s hairline and chuckled to himself. He looked around the room. It seemed that any crevice was stuffed with the powder. “Looks like the whole castle has been assaulted by smurfs.”

Shiro laughed and relaxed against the counter, “I’d prefer smurfs to Pidge any day. Kid’s a maniac.” He paused as he folded the rag in his hands, “Did you end up finding Lance?”

Keith nodded. “Oh, uh, yeah. He was feeling homesick,” He hesitated, remembering the absent look in Lance’s eyes. _‘Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped.’_ Keith inwardly winced at the memory.

“We all are. Is he doing alright now? I can check in with him later—”

“No,” Keith felt himself say, the word almost as an impulse, “No, let me.” Keith tried to justify his response by telling himself that Shiro was busy enough. The team leader didn’t need to go out of his way to check on Lance when he could just as easily go and talk to him. He didn’t allow himself to say that he needed to see Lance again. Make sure he was alright. Smiling again.

Shiro raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

 

Keith found himself pacing the halls waiting for the rest Castle to wake. Lance was always last to get up, so he had plenty of time to go about his usual morning routine. Instead, he found himself, wandering and worrying. Thinking of Lance. The night before, he had recognized the look of resignation in Lance’s mannerisms. He was familiar with the dazed acceptance in Lance’s eyes. It looked like someone who had forfeited a mental fight. Lance had given up trying to fight back his homesickness and whatever baggage came with it.

Comforting people was never his forte. _People_ were never his forte. Nonetheless, Keith felt an obligation to help Lance out of his funk. Maybe it was the unspoken position of co-command that If he fell into. He didn't buy that. He told himself that if he didn’t step up then the others might come crashing down like dominoes. Their situation _was_ rather precarious. They all needed to be at their best physically and mentally. But Shiro could step in. He's much better with words.

Keith stood looking out at the stars and realized that the reason he felt so compelled to help Lance was because that loneliness-- that feeling of being trapped-- that was exactly what he felt on Earth. He saw himself in Lance's sadness. Keith had gone through those feelings alone but Lance didn't need to. There wasn't a chance that he could let this sit. Not when he could step in and do something about it.

 

_Lance stared at the control panels but his hands were frozen. For the first time, he sat in the pilot seat of Blue and had no idea what to do. Before, it felt like second nature but now it was like trying to read in a language he didn't understand._

_“Lance where are you?”_

_Lance looked for a familiar screen but everything was flaring up red. Error messages with scribbles across them. He tried to push them away, exit out, anything, but it didn't work._

_“Lance! Did you forget how to fly?”_

_He pulled at the thrusters, jabbed buttons, nothing was clicking. Nothing was moving. Everything he did felt like it was breaking the lion which was staying completely, horrifically still._

_“--Worst pilot--”_

_“-- Just like the simulation--”_

_“Selfish”_

_“Arrogant”_

_“Stupid”_

_“Worthless”_

Lance woke gasping. He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. For that moment, he forgot that he was in the castle. He was just in a bed, under a thin blanket, in a warm room.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself searching for a window to see if any light was filtering in from the morning yet. He was greeted by darkness and stars. The same as would greet him any time of the day. With a huff, he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. _Of course. Of course it would be dark. It's only ever dark here._

Lance checked the time to see that it was, in fact, around the Paladin's morning cycle, though much earlier than he usually woke. He couldn’t bring himself to fall back asleep. He could try to slip past any wandering eyes and hide away in the observatory for a bit before the day really got started. Or he could stay in bed. Lance pondered his options.

He, very briefly, considered getting up and finding one of his crew mates. No doubt Shiro would be up. And maybe Coran. Drink alien morning juice. Catch up about the night prior's festivities. The thought made his stomach churn. The voices from his dream dug at the back of his brain. _I can't go and bother Shiro. He's probably doing something important. And Coran's like a space engineer so he's way too smart to be hanging out with an idiot like me. And Keith---_

 

Keith.

Lance's thought's came to a halt and his ears tinged red. _Keith._

Keith was now a dangerous subject. Keith who brought him out of a depressive spiral. Keith who made him laugh. Keith whose smile might just be the brightest thing on the ship. Lance shook his head, surely he was just confusing a moment of comfort with attraction. Once they were back in the fray, they would be back at each others' throats with snide comments and pointless competitions and empty insults.

Lance sat up and rubbed his eyes. Yeah, his brain is just a little confused-- that's all. Keith just happened to say some nice things when he needed to hear nice things. He couldn't actually be developing a crush on some punk with a mullet.

A knock at his door brought Lance out of his mind.

“Uh, just a minute!” He shuffled around to pull on a shirt before opening the door.

Keith’s expression was sheepish, and he was making a point to avoid eye contact, “Oh, sorry,” He scratched at the back of his neck, “I woke you up didn’t I?”

Lance's breath caught in his throat. He hoped Keith wouldn't notice how red in the face he had become. He ran a hand through his hair which was a bit of a mess, “No, no. I’ve been awake for a while.” It wasn’t a lie, but Lance’s state of undress and frazzled mind did little to convince Keith.

“I just wanted to uh,” Keith’s face froze as if he were calculating his words, “Check on you?” His voice was unsure and came out almost as if he were surprised to say them.

Lance, understandably confused, looked over Keith, “This is Keith, right? Keith, pilot of the red lion? Paladin of Voltron? Lived in a shack for a while? That Keith?”

Keith rolled his eyes, “Lance…”

“Not some weird doppelganger that is secretly nice and does things like checks up on friends?”

“Lance, I—” Keith’s serious tone quieted the blue paladin, “Listen, I know things between us haven’t always been great,” Lance almost chuckled but held it back, “but some of the stuff you said last night had me worried. I just wanted to…” Keith held out his hands grasping for the right words, “I wanted to let you know that I’m here?”

Lance smiled, trying to hide that his gut sank. Keith, ever so perceptive, “You don’t seem so sure about that.” He deflected.

Keith took a deep breath, “I am. I’m just. I’m bad at this.” Keith closed his eyes, “I want you to know that when you feel… trapped… That you have somebody to talk to.” Keith made eye contact for the first time since knocking on Lance’s door, “You’re an important part of this team, Lance.”

Lance swallowed hard. He had never heard anything like that from Keith before. Hunk and Pidge would give Lance all kinds of pep talks but he their words felt sort of empty. It wasn't hard to please them because they were so kind already. Ready to give affection and praise at the drop of a hat. This, however-- this felt sincere. This felt important.

Keith shifted his weight and his eyes darted to the side. _Oh, right, it’s my turn to talk. Conversations usually involve two people talking._ Lance floundered a moment in his mind before blurting out, “Thanks.” Keith looked like he was going to turn and leave, “Keith, thank you.” Lance reached out and placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I really appreciate it.”

They exchanged timid, yet warm smiles and then Keith was gone, retreating down the hall with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Lance watched as he walked down the hall in baffled amazement. _You’re an important part of this team, Lance._ Lance felt breathless. _You’re an important part of this team, Lance._

 

 


End file.
